This article first appeared on the Counselling Directory and has been republished with permission from the author.
The night before I decided to blow the whistle, the anxiety I felt led to me not sleeping a wink. I knew the next day, I’d be pointing the finger at a colleague, essentially calling her a liar. I had undeniable proof, but even more than that, I knew that if I didn’t act, the life of my elderly, vulnerable client would be irreparably changed.
You never really know what it takes to tell the truth until you’re faced with the moment you must do it. The only people who truly understand are those who have been there themselves—those who have spoken up about the wrongdoing of others. It takes just a few to stand up for the many. Whistleblowers do whatever it takes to reveal the truth because the wrongdoing will continue if they don’t. And sometimes, even with their efforts, it still does.
Deciding to speak up was one of the most complicated choices I’ve ever made. I know many others who’ve wrestled with that same decision and ultimately chose to stay silent. It takes courage, tenacity, and a deeply rooted sense of right and wrong to stand up for integrity in a world where it’s far easier to look the other way. When you blow the whistle, you expose yourself to intense scrutiny. Your character, your motivations—everything gets dissected.
Whistleblowers are brave. It takes incredible courage and self-esteem to stand up, be counted, and see right prevail over wrong. Those who break the rules and think they can get away with it—primarily because of their position—need to be held accountable. Some people manipulate the system for their gain at the expense of others, which drives people like me to speak up. It requires resolve, perseverance, and an unwavering belief that what you witnessed was wrong and needs to be stopped.
In this heightened state, I clung to every bit of information I could gather from friends and colleagues. Each word, every tiny piece of gossip, seemed critical, helping me piece together what I should do next. I was constantly on high alert, holding onto anything relevant to my disclosure.
I started to notice changes in myself that I didn’t like. The good qualities I’d always prided myself on—kindness, patience, understanding—began to slip away. All I wanted was for those I’d reported to admit the truth and face the consequences. However, as time passed, I saw that the support I initially received from some colleagues began to fade. The wrongdoers were currying favour with those left behind, and I felt more isolated than ever.
One of the most complex parts of the whole process was deciding who to tell. Should I confide in my friends? My family? The person I reported? Or should I go to an anonymous whistleblowing hotline or even the media? The first person I ended up telling was my partner—a close and trusted confidant who had nothing to do with my work but who I knew would listen and be sympathetic. They became my rock, someone I could trust and lean on for advice during one of the most challenging times of my life.
But even with that support, I realised how crucial it was to seek professional counselling. The emotional toll of whistleblowing is immense, and it’s not something anyone should face alone. If you ever find yourself in this position, don’t hesitate to ask for help. It’s not just brave to speak up—it’s also courageous to take care of yourself afterwards.
But here’s something I wish I’d known before I took that step: the emotional toll can be overwhelming. The sleepless nights, the anxiety, the isolation—it doesn’t just disappear once the truth is out. The mental strain of whistleblowing is real and profound. That’s why seeking counselling and support is so crucial. Speaking up for what’s right shouldn’t mean sacrificing your mental health.
If you’re considering blowing the whistle or doing so, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Counselling can be vital for your support in navigating the emotional aftermath. It’s a brave thing to do—speaking up—but it’s equally courageous to ask for help when you need it. Don’t let the weight of this journey crush you; seek the support that can help you carry it.
* Photo by name_ gravity on Unsplash
Guest blog by Debbie Crew, MBACP Clinical Supervisor.